Affirm me, right now – c.k.

November 6, 2008 - Leave a Response

Since everyone is talking about Obama, I will write about John McCain. Though his campain was dirty (If he himself chose that direction or his advisors did- I do not know), I respect him. In the last two weeks my approval rating went up for him. Although, I do not want him to be president, he has earned my respect back for being the leader that he claimed that he was.

John McCain is a sensier man. He is honest, he thought he could reach down to the people and pull them up.

There was a smear campaign against him too. He is not another Bush, George bush has no experience in DC, he was a governor that somehow got there. It is not his problem that he owns some 5 properties. It his not his problem that he is wealthy. He cared, He cared for is country and he though he could take the country by its boot straps and pull all of us up with him or help us pull outselves up.

He saw that America needed a figure who they could relate too. He saw that he couldn’t relate to most of America. This is where Palin comes into the picture. Together with Palin they could understand America and this country get back on its feet. Unfortunately he didn’t realize that the instant fame would have gone to her head. (or was it tina’s head?) He didn’t realize the qualities that made Palin a viable partner would be completely masked by her uneducated comments that Obama was a terrorist.

Well, McCain- its rare that I give credit to a white figure, but you deserve it. It’s just… America is changing… This is a historic moment and you belong in the story. You were right, it means a lot to many people that Obama is the first black president. It means a lot that he grew up the way he did– many of us can all relate to that… much like you wanted us to relate to Palin. We are also in need of a more accepting and libral party and disgruntaled about the current one– this truth is bigger then all of us.

This election was more about believes, about hope. America and the world needs something new. Not saying all Republicans are alike, or all white men are alike. But my friend, you felt reverse racism, you felt muted, you felt misunderstood and taken for granted. That I can not be sorry for as many of us feel the same way. I do want to say that I am sorry that America doesn’t respect you as much as they should… or as much as you respect america.

Your redeeming moments:

“Tonight more than any night i hold in my heart nothing but love for this country and for all its citizens whether they supported me or Senator Obama, i wish God speed to the man who was my former opponent and will be my president” – McCain.


Let me make this clear, I am not inlove with you.

November 5, 2008 - Leave a Response

wow… what a load off my chest.

My friends, its great to be in a country where the next leaders have battle grounds such as SNL and late night TV. Where the heated moments are exchanging words over debate instead of fire over a battle field. Today, I am proud to say I am an American.

People, America needs a figure to believe in, someone to trust… someone to give them hope. I really do think leaders are more of a manifestation of what you believe in…. they give you reasons to work hard, reasons to live, reasons to believe.

I was talking with one of my friends recently on our way back from a night of drinking and gambling about what it means to be a leader.

You know, a leader doesn’t need to be flawless…. and as a leader concealing some weaknesses doesn’t mean hypocracy. I mean we were talking from a christian context. My argument was that you shouldn’t have to expose yourself to the community for all that you have done wrong.

My analogy was this. If you were commander of a destroyer… and you made a mistake in the past that caused horrible repercussions. You shouldn’t tell your crew this. Why? because you are a better leader than your faults… they believe in you… you give something to believe in. And in times of pressure, it is that belief that will give them the strength to go the extra mile. Plus if you constantly dwell on your mistakes, you start to believe that your mistakes are your limitations, and that is not true.

My friends, Obama isnt flawless… no one is. But he is someone who we can believe in. He is a great leader already because we believe in him, and that is half of what leadership is.

One day I hope to drop my immature mantra and become a leader again…. but for now:

Home was good

November 3, 2008 - One Response

So I am back now in San Francisco. 🙂 It feels good to be in my own bed. It feels good to be out of my jeans.

I must warn you… this post is all over the place.

I walk in and my roommate says to me… “you look rested”

In college I knew I needed to rest when I started getting double eyelids. I have had a double eyelid for almost 2 years now. The only time I saw it go away was one weekend in Pebble Beach with my family…. and right now.

Now I know I work late evenings sometimes and I have a busy schedule but I dont think that contributes to my weary state. Those things I can handle. But I have been uneasy ever since winter quarter my senior year.

This season of pain and bitterness might be inching towards a resolution… some peace.. i hope 🙂

I saw my parents. They look so young. I love how I can talk to my parents about anything and they are so supportive of everything I do. They are my heroes for sure. Its really good. I think I am going to try to involve them more into my life… have them meet my friends …etc. But yeah.. parents = 🙂

I got to process a lot this weekend… it was good. Understanding where my bitterness stems from this weekend was a valuable part of the healing process.

It was so good seeing old friends…. its amazing how supportive they can be.

Long story short…


Remy XO and pain

November 1, 2008 - Leave a Response

I like Seattle.

Being here in Seattle brings me back to a place where life seems so much more real. There is a history here for me. Being in Seattle gives me a feeling if being firmly planted somewhere.

It still hurts.

Two years ago I left this town with a bad taste in my mouth. Time has passed, people moved on, but it still hurts.

I am bitter.

The more XO I drink the more I let the alcohal burn my mouth as it makes it’s way down my throat warming my stumic. I like the bitterness that it brings. There is a lot of pain inside and I feel the pressure release with each sip, with each bitter thought.


Here in the room with me are five people who I consider my close friends. The sadness is, I don’t know how close I am to them. I miss their presence in my life deeply. Even the one who rejected my congradulary hand. Passive, I know. But it hurts too much to admit such a simple act hurts so much.


My faith was left in Seattle and it’s hard to find that rhythm again.


I can’t pinpoint it. But it’s there… I feel it and there is a lot of it.

Drift way…

September 18, 2008 - Leave a Response

Sometimes you just got to drift away.

How to be outstanding.

September 18, 2008 - Leave a Response


September 15, 2008 - One Response

When I was younger. I thought love was simple…. taking two people searching for affection and confiding in each other and hopefully they can get along alright.  That’s about the time I fell in love… because I was searching for something to make me whole. Quotes like Jerry Maguire’s “I love you, you complete me,” created a strong magnetic attraction in me for love.

As I grew (wiser?..dumber?), this theory evolved. It turned into well if you were complete yourself, then you could complete someone else. Fulfill their needs as well. Meaning if you are able to handle yourself confidently and by God’s grace you were blessed and spared from the many hardships of life you could be that missing piece for someone else. At that time really liked the song by Enrique Igliesias “I can be your hero.” And as cheesy as that sounds I also like this new song by TI “You can have whatever you like” — yet this mantality is a fail becuase I myself am not complete, not whole… Plus the night and shining armor story is so rediculously arrogant.

Many times in church or weddings or reviewing scripture we are reminded that the merical of love is the passion that materializes when two people, whole in themselves and Christ are able to become one. The merical of love is the equation 1 + 1 = 1…. not .5 +.5 = 1 or .75 + .25 = 1 or .9 + .1 = 1… you get the picture.

But it gets complicated… what if someone from your past still holds onto a peice of your heart?

…and for that matter who is actually whole?

So then, there must be a mirical through God’s grace for a person’s heart to become whole.

Making then the merical of love is then two mericals… the merical to be whole in yourself through God and the merical that two whole people will find each other.

Sounds to me like love between two people in that passionate way is then rare. So maybe that’s why we gravitate to it and maybe thats why we settle. Since by human nature we gravitate towards what is scares. And when things are scarce, we might setting for the next best thing. If you are dieing of thrust you will drink anything even if its damaging to you.

Thinking too much? haha. ok back to listening to TI

Stacks on deck , Patron on ice
And we can pop bottles all night
And baby you can have whatever you like
I said you can have whatever you like , yeah
Baby i’ll treat you so special so nice
Gas up the jet for you tonight
And baby you can go wherever you like
I said you can go wherever you like , yeah

and for giggles…

Space, the final frontier…

July 11, 2008 - Leave a Response

So Virgin American is having a sweepstakes for Virgin Galactic. In short, they are going to take someone to space. I mean, you can buy a seat in this space vacation package. The problem is, the ticket costs 200,000. I could do a lot with around 200,000.


1. Start a franchise restaurant

2. Buy a night club

3. Buy a nice car

4. Rent an island in Fiji– servants included

5. Have dinner in the sky a few times

Anyways… All you have to do to enter the sweep stakes is do this:

In 50 words or less, please let us know the first thing you would do in weightlessness

So I took my shot.

The thought of having this slight chance to visit space on a marketing dime leaves me dreaming. I am then asked this question, which can be answered in one sentence. But one sentence, gives no personality. I would thank Virgin Galactic- then try to drink water upside down. Thank you…

See you all from space!

“First of all, if you want good UI, you don’t throw 1000 engineers at it.”

July 8, 2008 - One Response

So I have been working a lot these days. I am trying to really trying to show off my UI skills at work so I can get on a good project with lots of senior visibility. I appoligize ahead of time if this is a work-centric post. But maybe it will be of interest… 😛 no? haha bleh.

Whatever~ So anyways. Today when I walked into work (after lunch becuase I promised myself I would take it easy at least one day this week) I here this chatter about our stock dropping like its not so hot and that our CEO has “decided to leave.” Meaning she was asked to leave. She was replaced by Paul Maritz former number 3 at Microsoft.

Corp life is like a big chess game. It is so interesting. There are some seriously brilliant people out there. I hope one day I will have the skillset to be such a hot comodity. Anyways the main point is things are crazy at work.

Paul Maritz definantly has a understanding of good software design though. Hopefully that will make my job better. When asked what his plan was to battle Microsoft because Microsoft can through 1000 engineers at making good UI, her responded “First of all, if you want good UI, you don’t throw 1000 engineers at it.

That was amazing.

Ok, back to trying to make myself known in this sea of engineers.

I promise my next post will be better. No youtube video, nothing boring about work. — It will be a good post.

Mariah Carey – Fourth of July

July 4, 2008 - Leave a Response

The fourth always brings good memories… 🙂