Remy XO and pain

I like Seattle.

Being here in Seattle brings me back to a place where life seems so much more real. There is a history here for me. Being in Seattle gives me a feeling if being firmly planted somewhere.

It still hurts.

Two years ago I left this town with a bad taste in my mouth. Time has passed, people moved on, but it still hurts.

I am bitter.

The more XO I drink the more I let the alcohal burn my mouth as it makes it’s way down my throat warming my stumic. I like the bitterness that it brings. There is a lot of pain inside and I feel the pressure release with each sip, with each bitter thought.


Here in the room with me are five people who I consider my close friends. The sadness is, I don’t know how close I am to them. I miss their presence in my life deeply. Even the one who rejected my congradulary hand. Passive, I know. But it hurts too much to admit such a simple act hurts so much.


My faith was left in Seattle and it’s hard to find that rhythm again.


I can’t pinpoint it. But it’s there… I feel it and there is a lot of it.


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